| Thats My Man |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|04:57 pm] |
hes my man and i know it
cause i get a temble deep in my soul that i cant ignore and i cant control it
what a man whoo hes my fortress
im safe from harm, when everything is all wrong
and they trippin on my record deal
still it gives me an amazing thrill
hes my man and im proud about it
im gone shout it out
aint no doubt about it
thats my man
aint gone let no one say nothin bad about my baby
thats my man
i spent to many noghts on my knees prayin to Jesus
im his lady
thats my man
ladys you know a good man is hard to find
and now i got mine
you better believe it
thats my man
hes the only one for me
slow your roll
see how you gonna tell me about my man
when you aint got a man of your own
see i already know
you cant stand my man realy loves me wont cheat or beat or sleep around me and cares about my needs
we fuss and fight but he knows when its over
and every night im positive my man is comin home to me
he my man and im proud about it
im gone shout it out
aint no doubt about it
thats my man
well in a fight i keep it right and keep it tight im his lady
thats my man
you say you see it i didnt see it
i dont believe it hes my baby
thats my man
hes the only one for me yeah
ladys
if you let him do whatever
look in his eyes and tell him
i love you boy
call him and let him know
i love him boy
(repeat 3)
god smiled on me when he brought you in my life never wanna do you wrong always gonna do you right mean more to me then anything else in the world youll always be my man im a always be your girl
i need you
E - I Do Need Ya Playboi |
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| SoGa |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|04:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Monica - That's My Man | ] |
J-Rod told me that he was moving to SoGa. For yall that dont know that means South Georgia (aka Valdosta). So he is moving down there with his mom n step father. And invited me to move with come Sept 1. Now he invited me sorta. Basically said oh we's moving cos I been talking about moving back south, specifically Georgia. But not Valdosta....ATL only baby! So I gotta let him down gently somehow. Thing is I wouldn't have to pay rent. Just groceries, cable, n phone. So that is very good. Plus there is a Holiday Inn down there n a state college there. But still it's not Atlanta. It's only about 50,000 people n kinda rural. And gay folk in rural georgia just don't fly. Honey I'm gay n luv my gay black men...thank you Hartford. So I don't think I can deal. Plus I'd miss too many people n I really wanna feel things out with Eric n hope for us to reunite as one. So yeah that's the deal...lol. Take a guess what I'm listening to...c'mon just guess. Monica So Gone...Eric n I's song. He just doesn't know it, lol. He was making fun of me cos I'm still listening to it. But ya see I wanna make him my man again. I want him in my life as mine. That's my man! Anyway enough of the craz-y ex talk. Okay just kidding back to Eric...lol. Here's my song for him. The one that always made me feel how special n lucky I was. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|04:39 pm] |
I AM 61% EVIL GENIUS!  Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|04:28 pm] |
I AM 77% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I am one of those people that love to hear the sound of their voice. That and my lousy attitude make for a mixture as toxic next-day-mexican-dinner-ass-drip. |
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| So Here I Am Now... |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|05:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Monica - Hurts The Most | ] |
The hectic weekend is now behind me. I have some SERIOUS regrets about what happened Friday. Obviously I regret everything after we left Chez Est. Cos I don't regret being shady to JJ when I left. Ya wanna holla at me n kiss all up on me. But I turn my back n you talking to some dude here. Ya eyes can't focus on me. Naw fuck that shyt. He was like when we leaving...too funny...I was like I'm leaving I dunno bout chu. Want my number? If you want...dont mean Ima call ya ass! Vintage Gregg right there. I really need to chill out with my mouth. Talk about craz-yness. I always seem to get my self in trouble n it's cos there is no filter on my damn muzzle. Back in the day I was shy surprisingly. But I told myself back then that I wanted to b more straightforward n honest. Now I realize that this "new found" honesty is too blunt for my own good. I feel terible cos I hurt a friend. Tianesha was talking about this guy that called her a slut. Well she's 24 with four kids n one more on the way. So I said well I guess he must know you good. So she said what ya say. I was like girl you's a slut. Yeah I need to improve n work on the art of being tactful. Lord please let your grace shine down on me n bless my mouth with a muzzle...lol. Oh so what else. I saw Mandi n Jason who was back home for the day. Them, JRod, n I hung out n then got some ice cream. I spoke with Eric...hehehe...as I blush n can't stop smiling. I also talked to Doug bout what happened. He's like I don't know why you even stressing it. Whatchu mean? We are good friends that fucked around with each other. That shyt just ain't right. I dunno I guess the shield goes back up. I miss just talking with him. I hope we can go back that easily. Last night when I was working these lil brats came down to front desk. They were with the family reunion in house. Apparently there father left them in the room with four other kids while he went out to a club. What kinda shyt is that? So at 1230 in the morning I'm making small talk with kids cos they was lonely. Yeah they both saw my damn hickey n was ragging on me for that all night. I still can't believe that shyt. Just what I needed a visible mark of that horrible night...yuck. But they were real funny I mustta talked with them for a good hour. Little playbois. The taller one was 14 but he was real phyne. I know he 14 but he's going to be a lil pimp soon...got the looks n charm. They really reminded me of my God children when they get older. It was cute. Damn I really want me a husband n kid. Like if you asked me about marriage or a kid a year ago my ass would say no. But I've grown since then. I'm definetly not the same person. I am ever evolving. One day I'll fully evolve by losing my thornes n just being that immaculate rose. Those thornes can represent a lot of my flaws that need working on. Like my too blunt for my own good mouth, getting into physical fights, getting into legal trouble, etc. In tyme I'll find the "one". At least I hope so. |
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| Friends Don't Do This |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|02:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Alicia Keys - Secret | ] |
Last night was absolute craziness. I got in another huge argument with my momma before I left the house. I can't seriously deal with her shyt anymore. It's the same ole same. Dr. Jeykl n Mr. Hyde type shyt. Still fucked in the head I guess. Well she was once again mentally bashing my head in again. About how I won't amount to shyt n how my sister is so special. Ya know I'm sorry I'm not the golden chile. But shoot I'm trying to make life bettering decisions n it still doesn't matter. So I went to scoop my friend Doug up from so we could go down to the Heartbeat to Chez Est. I was going to meet my friend Angie. Yeah well why D is at home changing I'm sitting in my car waiting....Eric calls me. I was like why he calling me at 11pm on a Friday night...hmmm. Asking me what I'm doing n all that shyt. I talked to him on my cell throughout the night. I really do miss him. Fuck I'd get back with him in a quick minute...yall just don't know. So of course I'm happy going up in that place. Well D introduced me to this guy Jurmaine (JJ). Aiight I ain't gonna front he was looking nice yall. Nice chest n stomach n killa smile. Needless to say after meeting him ten minutes later we was making out feeling each other. Turns out he knows Matt, the Jamaican I hooked up with from CT, so we all chilling n what not. Doug is ova there making out with some pretty boi wanna be Rickie. It was interesting. But Jurmaine was like do ya want my number I was like yeah if you want....lol. Cos I was busy looking everyone else up n doing my shyt. Plus making out with CJ the guy from the Polo from three weeks ago. But to make a long story short. Doug n I were following Angie n Heidi back to their place to chill. Yeah D n I were trashed. But um D was feeling up on my dick. I was like what the fuck. The whole ride he was telling me how he wanna suck it right then n there. Then kissing up on me n shyt. I was like damn man we're friends...can't b doing that shyt. Once we get inside n chill. He fucking pulled me to couch n started trying to get it on. I really didn't want him or to hookup with him. It was just hard to resist n say no ova n ova when ya got the liquor up in ya. Brutha wanted to fuck me in the damn kitchen. I was like dude c'mon we best friends. Well we ended up sucking each other off n shyt. Damn am I being too graphic for yall? First off his shyt ain't shyt. Not impressed at all...lol. I was semi hard n admired my shyt more than his. Like he kept saying I got that sweet wood. "It tastes like honey" lol. But yeah he kept asking me if he was betta than Eric n how he's been waiting to have at me. The whole way home he kept talking bout the shyt we did n kissing me. I told him ova n ova to shut up n we'd talk bout all this the next day...when we was sober. Honestly, how can I be friends with him now. It's just too weird. I really regret it. He was craz-y aggressive too about getting it on last night too. I felt pressured. I dunno I was I never went out last night now. I got the fucking biggest hickey of my life on my damn neck from my best friend. I miss just talking to him about everything in life. I miss my friend. How do u go back to that? Cos honestly I don't think he's feeling a relationship between us. But I can't b no friend with benefits. I care about D too much. Either I give my all into being his best friend or give my all in making that brutha my husband. I care about him too much to have any in between. Well I think that's it for now. Ima call him at work n make sure he got there on tyme. Then just await my call back from Eric...hehehe. It's going to b weird working n being friends with D now. |
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| Preface This |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|06:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Brandy - Saddiy | ] |
Lemme just preface this by saying I've been up since 6am n only got three hours sleep the night before. So this might all just come pouring out like mindless dribble. But ya know cos it's my mindless dribble, it's golden...lol. I did go out last night with Doug. Damn I really have been spending a good amount of tyme with him or talking to him. Anyway, we once again had a real good heart to heart. I'm amazed at how deep he is. I really only had two prior "mental connections". Like he seriously stimulates me intellecutally. Sumthin I always seem to lack in friends or more importantly relationships. Too bad me n him can never be anything more than friends. He's attractive don't get me wrong. But he's not physically overly attractive to me. I'm talking the kind of guy that yall got that animal passion with. Where yall can just look at each other n bust out into a freaking Animal Channel mating special...lmao. That's what I want right bout now. That mental stimulation with hot passionate crazy filled sweaty ass sex! : ) Hey what's wrong with that. But haven't obviously found that yet. Otherwise why would my ass me online updating yall when I'd b in bed tying up my love n riding that shyt into the sunset...lmao....literally! But yo I just added this new poem to my site if yall wanna scope that out. I like it, well duh I should I wrote it. But yeah all is as good as it gets for me. But I really need to get some rest in before going out with my boy Doug. If we weren't good friends he would truly b one of the better boyfriends in my mind. He's really going to make somebody special n happy. Just envious when he finds out who that'll b. |
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| Back at the Board... |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ms Dynamite - It Takes More | ] |
...the drawing board that is. My car is once again officially finished with. DolceWood seizes to exist. So now I'm back to having no car whatsoever. Talk about a cra-zy long weekend. Friday I embarass myself at the club n text my ex. Saturday thinks look up with four guys all of a sudden being interested. Shoot to Sunday which was just the calm before the storm. Last night I worked the over night for Michelle because she needed it off. Well turns out there was a big system upgrade so when it reconnected at 2am I'd b swamped with work. Before that went back up Security found the Maintenance manager, an ex maintenance person, n Michelle n three of there friends butt ass naked in the jacuzzi. I could not believe that shyt! You have the audiosity to show up to work when ya asked me to work for you. So Alice, our manager is there because of the system upload. Yeah well she's not even doing anything I guess. What kinda shyt is that? People have gotten fired for far less. After all that bullshyt we were outside in front of the hotel when we saw this car in the second row of the lot shaking like crazy. Yeah well they was having some sex up in there. I was like Lord what else could happpen. To make a long story short. The system never came back up so at least I literally hadn't had to do anything all night. But all this shyt I still can't believe. What could possibly happen next? Lord only knows. But one thing is certain, it won't b happening with DolceWood. |
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| Refreshing on the Bois Front |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|03:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Brandy - Who's She 2 U | ] |
Yeah definetly a nice change for me. Since Friday night blues things really have changed quickly. I'm talking to my ex-Eric again. This guy Richmond that is friends with Angie is interested. A guest at my hotel has been flirting with me. And this gay guy at the Hampton Inn called me last night n striked up a conversation. Doug who? Lmao. So yeah at least that is refreshing. However, my car is being looked at tomorrow as to why it's been smoking under the hood n engine area. I don't understand cos they fixed that shyt a month ago. But then again I swear my car is possessed n does this to syke me out. Thinking I got realible transportation n all. Plus my boss was being the biggest bitch to me when I was getting outta work at 7am. I was like oh hell naw you betta change that tone. One of these days I swear Ima lose it n just bitch slap. Open faced Stephen from Real World Seattle style! So now I gotta go to some training tomorrow from 130p-300p. Then work tomorrow 11p-7am. Plus Angie's intown tomorrow. All this shyt can't b right. But I'm sure things will get betta. I have faith. And now the new Brandy CD Afrodisac. Which is very good. That's my girl. Since Sitting Up In My Room back in the day. To freaking Moesha. Brandy you got it girl. So that's all from this kid. It's off to writing or reading till Mike from the Hampton Inn calls me...lol. Hope all is well in yall's life. |
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| My Tyme to Shyne |
[Jul. 17th, 2004|03:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Monica - Set It Off | ] |
First off I want to thank Doug. He really was there for him last night when I needed him. When shyt went down last night. I text-ed my ex Eric last night. Got in an argument with my ex Tyrique on my cell. Saw Angie who I ain't seen in a hot minute. Was drunk as hell n things was just a mess. We went down to Chez Est in the Heartbeat. I do have to thank Doug though for being there for me as a good friend. I also realized that in order for me to move on I have to let go n hold onto those memories versus longing to relive them. I also bumped into Matt, the Jamican from CT, n had a long talk with him. It was odd seeing him there by himself. He's still cute as hell but the sex was not worth it. Just hanging out with n watching movies would b cool. Or to even have an intellegent conversation with. But definetly not sexually again...lol. From now on I'm not worrying about meeting anyone. Just worry bout me. One thing I gotta do is let go n move on from ex's cos so much stress will be lifted. Also, that I can go to a club n not worry bout who Ima flirt with. Cant I have a good tyme out with just friends. All men are just bullshyt anyways so cut out the shyt. Or as I so eloquently kept saying all last night, "FUCK THAT SHYT". Yup that's my new phrase. Cos why am I gunna talk to a brutha up at a club to just find out he ain't got no job, no ride, no money, n tons of baggage. I'm looking for that long term muthafucka but obviously ya ain't gunna find it up in a club. But where would gay people meet a lt? It shouldn't even matter anyway cos as soon as I'm done with college I'm out this area anyway. So why bother. I got more important things to do than deal with bullshyt bruthas. I just want to thank Doug for all he did yestaday. All need is myself n some good friends. Especially considering all the shyt I gotta take care of for me. Like quit smoking, work out more, pay off bills, n take care of school. But I am real glad to have met Doug. I feel so comfortable around him. I can actually tell him some things that I can't tell Jarrod. He can more less relate to everything that I've dealt with n me like wise. He's really a lot deeper than I thought. I hope he gets the opportunity to go to HCC with me in the fall. He really has a lot to offer the world n I just hope he creates those opportunities to showcase it. I'm glad for a friend like him. That's my dawg right there. But anyway I'm letting go of the past. Learning from it but no longer living in it. Today is a new day of the rest of my life. Now is my tyme to shyne. |
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